Tag Archives: Gary Chapman

Book Review: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (4/5)

18 Aug

When I was in college, my roommate read this book. She told me about it and how it made sense in her relationship and helped her think about how to best communicate with her long-distance boyfriend. I liked the idea of it and I’ve actually purchased it for friends as a wedding gift but I haven’t read it myself. While waiting for an audiobook hold to come it, I figured I’d have just about enough time to get through it and I’m really glad I read it.

Cover image via Goodreads

Cover image via Goodreads

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman

Summary from Goodreads:

Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together.

This book makes a lot of sense. When I thought about what my husband does that shows me he loves me, it seemed really obvious that acts of service are important to me. I also value quality time and I know gifts matter the least to me. It was very eye-opening to go through this book and see different couples and how they interacted with each other and how their marriages were impacted by the love language they valued most. I’m still trying to figure out my husband’s primary love language but I’ve narrowed it down to two.

 

Thankfully, I couldn’t relate to any of the stories in the book. I’m three years into my marriage and I either still have the ‘in love’ feeling, or my husband is speaking my love language because I’m beyond happy. It was incredible to hear stories of marriages that were turned around with this practice and Dr. Chapman’s book. It makes sense to me and it makes me really happy to hear that this book really helps people. I thought it was fun to hear that the book has been translated into many languages and is read in many cultures where it still makes sense. We’re not all that different around the world after all.

Dr. Gary Chapman Image via the 5 Love Languages website

Dr. Gary Chapman
Image via the 5 Love Languages website

I thought Chapman used a good mix of examples and teaching. It helped explain and highlight his points well. I liked that he used personal examples, too. It’s good that he’s open about the marital trouble he had early in his relationship with his wife, it helps solidify his point.

I felt that a lot of the examples and stories stuck to very traditional gender roles. A lot of the stories talked about women living at home and raising children while the men worked and how a man didn’t think he should have to clean because a woman would do that. This upset me a lot because it’s not what I grew up with and it’s not like my marriage now. My mom worked from the time I was nine and my dad always washed the dishes and took out the trash. I cook in my home but my husband cleans the bathroom. I felt it was a little off-putting to use only examples with strong traditional gender roles because it made me wonder how the advice would apply to my life.

Chapman narrates the book himself and I think he did well. There was an interview with him at the beginning so I was ready for his soft Southern accent. He had good inflection through the book and he was easy to understand without speaking too quietly.

I think this would be a good book for anyone in marital difficult to read and even for those without problems or not yet married. It’s helped me see how I could better demonstrate my love to my husband and that the things I want him to do for me might not mean the same things to him. I think I might start making this a standard wedding gift from us again.

Writer’s Takeaway: I don’t write much non-fiction but I liked Chapman’s storytelling style. He was very conversational and told his anecdotes simply, not dressing up or dramatizing the details. The tone made me feel like I might be at one of his seminars or reading his presentation notes. I think it was a very effective style for this subject matter and genre.

I really enjoyed this quick book and I got a lot out of reading it. Four out of Five stars.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on GoodreadsFacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

Related Post:
The 5 Love Languages | Covenant Couples

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WWW Wednesday, 17-August-2016

17 Aug

Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived here on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three questions below and leave a link to your post in the comments for others to look at. No blog? No problem! Just leave a comment with your responses. Please, take some time to visit the other participants and see what others are reading. So, let’s get to it!

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The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Note: For users of Blogspot blogs, I’m unable to comment on your posts as a WordPress blogger unless you’ve enabled Name/URL comments. This is a known WordPress/Blogspot issue. Please consider enabling this to participate more fully in the community.


WithoutEndCurrently reading: Unfortunately, I have no new update on In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson. I was out-of-town for the weekend (again) and couldn’t find the time. I hope to make some more progress soon.
I’m really enjoying In One Person by John Irving. It has all of the classic Irving tropes so far and for some reason, they never get old for me. I have two weeks to finish this for my book club and it’s a bit long so I hope I make it!
I started the audiobook for World Without End by Ken Follett and so far I absolutely love it. Follett is an amazing writer and this one is just as enjoyable as the first. It’s 26 files on my phone and I’m on file three. It’s going to be a long run.

5LL-7.09.F.inddRecently finished:I really enjoyed The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman a lot more than I thought I would. His advice makes sound sense to me and I’ve been trying it out a bit with my husband. I’m still trying to figure out his language by speaking them all and seeing what he responds to.

Three reviews for you all this week! It’s crazy, I know. Last Thursday was 10% Happier by Dan Harris. I enjoyed the book for its memoir qualities but I’m not going to start meditating anytime soon. Three out of Five stars.
The second is Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany, and Jack Thorne. No surprise here, I loved it. A full Five out of Five stars and a possible reread at any point in the future.
The third is Peace Breaks Out by John Knowles. This was a solid read that reminded me of A Separate Peace but was enjoyable in its own way. Four out of Five stars.

BoySnowReading Next: I’ve got Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi on my bedside table. I don’t know how soon I’ll be able to pick it up, but I’m looking forward to this one. So many people have said wonderful things.


Leave a comment with your link and a comment (if you’re so inclined). Take a look at the other participant links in the comments and look at what others are reading.

Have any opinions on these choices?

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on GoodreadsFacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

WWW Wednesday, 10-August-2016

10 Aug

Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived here on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three questions below and leave a link to your post in the comments for others to look at. No blog? No problem! Just leave a comment with your responses. Please, take some time to visit the other participants and see what others are reading. So, let’s get to it!

IMG_1384-0

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Note: For users of Blogspot blogs, I’m unable to comment on your posts as a WordPress blogger unless you’ve enabled Name/URL comments. This is a known WordPress/Blogspot issue. Please consider enabling this to participate more fully in the community.


OnePersonCurrently reading: I got some solid reading of In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson this week. I had to go to the doctor and you all know how much waiting there is involved in that! I’m over 50% now and I can feel the tension building.
I’m really enjoying The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The advice Chapman gives is very practical and it’s something I can implement in my marriage. Though my husband is getting a little sick of me saying how my actions hit on one or more of the love languages, haha.
I started reading In One Person by John Irving on Saturday. I’m having to write this early because of my vacation so I can’t say too much about it besides I’m excited to read it because I’m a huge fan of Irving. I’m  hoping to power through it while I’m on the beach.

PeaceBreaksRecently finished: I finished Peace Breaks Out by John Knowles on Friday. I enjoyed this book a lot which I was really hoping I would. I loved A Separate Peace when I read it in high school and I thought this book was equally enjoyable. I’ll have a review going up next week or so. I’ve got another lined up before it before I’ll get it posted.

Because of my vacation time, no reviews up this past week but I do have one ready for tomorrow so look out for that!

BoySnowReading Next: I’m still waiting on the audiobook for World Without End by Ken Follett. I might start another one before it comes in because I’ll finish Love Lanaguages soon and need something to listen to. Not sure what that would be.
My next physical book is going to be Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi. This is a book club pick for my club that will meet in September. A librarian friend of mine recommended this about a year ago and I’ve been looking for a reason to read it ever since. I’m excited!


Leave a comment with your link and a comment (if you’re so inclined). Take a look at the other participant links in the comments and look at what others are reading.

Have any opinions on these choices?

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on GoodreadsFacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

WWW Wednesday, 3-August-2016

3 Aug

Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived here on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three questions below and leave a link to your post in the comments for others to look at. No blog? No problem! Just leave a comment with your responses. Please, take some time to visit the other participants and see what others are reading. So, let’s get to it!

IMG_1384-0

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Note: For users of Blogspot blogs, I’m unable to comment on your posts as a WordPress blogger unless you’ve enabled Name/URL comments. This is a known WordPress/Blogspot issue. Please consider enabling this to participate more fully in the community.


5LL-7.09.F.inddCurrently reading: I read about a chapter of In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson. My husband is out of town for a few days which might give me some time to read while I’m eating dinner alone. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that I make a little progress here.
Peace Breaks Out by John Knowles is a short book and I’m hoping to finish it before this weekend when I head out of town. Then I can take just my ‘next’ book with me and not worry about running out of reading material. Maybe I’ll send another book ahead just in case…
The audiobook I want to listen to next has a hold on it, so in the meantime, I’m going to listen to The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I had a roommate in college who read this and talked to me about how it helped her relationship with her boyfriend and ever since, I’ve been interested in listening to it myself. It’s a shorter audiobook so I hope I can power through it before the other hold comes in.

626F6F78747265616D=7474747474727576707<7473Recently finished: I finished off two! The first was 10% Happier by Dan Harris. This was a cross between a memoir and a self-help book. I liked it, but I wasn’t convinced to start meditating, not just yet. I understand how mindfulness might help a person and I understand there are proven health benefits, but I’m still a skeptic. I struggle to fit in my five minutes a day of prayer! We’ll see how that goes. Review will be up soon.
I don’t know how I could have blanked on this, but another WWW reminded me that Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by J.K. Rowling would be released before this week’s WWW. I’ll post soon about the release party I went to and I’ll add that I finished it about 14 hours after starting it. The book reads really fast because of the formatting and it was one I want to reread soon because speeding through it, I’m sure I missed something.

WithoutEndReading Next: I’ll be taking In One Person by John Irving with me on vacation this weekend. I’m not sure if it’s much of a beach read, but I’m really looking forward to diving into Irving. I love his crazy-twisted books.
The next audiobook I plan to undertake is World Without End by Ken Follett. This will be a long trek and I’m ready to make it because I enjoyed the first book so much. I’ll likely lose the hold and have to come back to it a few times, but I hope it will be worth it in the end.


Leave a comment with your link and a comment (if you’re so inclined). Take a look at the other participant links in the comments and look at what others are reading.

Have any opinions on these choices?

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on GoodreadsFacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!