Off Topic Thursday: The Friend You Don’t Talk to for Ages

(Yes, it’s a week early. But I’ll be on vacation next week so you’re getting Off Topic Thursday a week early!)

I hope this isn’t a solitary experience because I love it so much. Does anyone else have a really good friend that you sometimes go weeks or months without talking to? For me, she’s my best friend.

When I was in high school, I met Hellen (name changed). She was a year behind me in school and we clicked immediately. She was sad when I decided to go to school out of state but we both knew it was best for me. She ended up coming to visit me during my Sophomore year for a weekend and it was one of the most memorable visits I had while in school. She got along with my friends immediately and I’d talked about them enough she felt like she knew them. She didn’t think I was crazy for going to a Spanish language mass and even joined me for a baby shower for a woman I was tutoring in English.

When I moved home, she helped me move into my first apartment. She calls my parents Mama and Papa and started a trend of my other friends doing the same. After I called my parents, she was the first person I told about my engagement. Of course, I wanted her to be my maid of honor. She was the best choice I could have made because she had high expectations for my husband and wouldn’t have joined me at the alter if she didn’t truly believe in us.

Despite being so close, we go for long stretches without talking or seeing each other. And it’s never mattered. Whenever we see each other again, we pick up right where we left off. Nothing in awkward and we’re never angry with each other for the long time that’s passed. We’re just so happy to be together, how could we be mad?

I have other friends who feel like strangers if I go more than a few weeks without talking to them. I have friends who have drifted away because we went too long without speaking and now I don’t consider them friends anymore. But Hellen will always be different. I don’t need her to reassure me that she loves me, I know she does. And she knows I’d do anything for her in a heartbeat. It’s a friendship different from any other I have and I treasure it more than anything.

Until next time, write on.

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Book Review: Just Kids by Patti Smith (3/5)

Yet another book club selection! I feel that most of the books I read are book club selections and I’m 100% okay with this. This wasn’t one of my favorites, but I’m still glad I read it.

I don’t think I was the target audience for this one, having never heard of Patti Smith or her music before I cracked the spine. That’s probably the biggest reason for my rating; I really wasn’t engaged in the topic.

Cover Image via Goodreads.com

Just Kids by Patti Smith

Patti never though she would be the famous one of her friends. When she moved to New York and met Robert Mapplethorpe, she saw genius in his work and felt lucky to be a part of his journey. By meeting the right people, Smith was able to move from an unknown poet, to an unknown lyricist, to a highly influential singer/songwriter through the 1970s.

Smith and Mapplethorpe met when they were both developing their place in the art world; Smith looking for a way to express herself in words and Mapplethorpe in images. Together they weathered financial and professional hardships. As Mapplethorpe explored his sexuality, Smith was a supportive friend despite their romantic past. Both were struggling to discover who they were and who they wanted to be.

The book did stick with me for it’s lyrical prose, something only a poet can do. Smith’s background writing poetry made for some beautiful turns of phrase that I really enjoyed. The topic didn’t interest me and because I didn’t know anything about Patti Smith, I was as surprised as her when she got lucky breaks and found her way to the world of rock and roll. From the Johnny Depp review on the back cover, I was expecting something very raw, most likely involving a little bit of sex and drugs, but also a deep passion. I got all of that. I don’t think I’d recommend it to anyone who wasn’t already a Patti Smith fan but if you are, I really think you must read her book.

Smith spoke a lot about family, but not in the traditional sense. Her family in New Jersey wasn’t what got her through her tough times. Yes, her sister did travel to Paris with her, but it was the people of the Hotel Chelsea and Robert who were there for her when she needed it and they were the ones she supported in their time of need. Smith’s adopted family was strong group and one would be lucky to find such a group of people to support one through the tough times in life. I think Smith was very fortunate to find the group she did when she did because it helped shape her and her art.

Friendship is another topic that Smith delves into deeply. Her friendship with Robert was atypical to say the least. They started out as lovers and when Robert discovered his sexuality, Smith never doubted that she still loved him, only in a different sense, more like family than a mate. The two relied on each other for company, love, support, and inspiration throughout the years they spent in New York, living together more often than not. Given the chance to show in a gallery, Smith chooses to do so only if allowed to show next to Robert. The pair work together naturally. When Robert is sick and Patti lives in Detroit, she doesn’t let the distance separate them and makes a great effort to visit and call him on a regular basis, supporting him through his illness.  That sort of friendship is rare and Smith treasured it like the gem that it is.

This memoir is unlike a lot of others I’ve read because it focuses on another person as much as the writer. Most memoir writers want to tell their own story, but Smith is concerned with telling her story only as far as it overlapped with Robert’s. More than anything, she wanted to have people remember him. In that sense, it almost reminds me of The Great Gatsby, where Nick tells Gatsby’s story instead of Gatsby telling his own. I really liked the medium.

Mapplethorpe ultimately died of AIDS in a time when the disease wasn’t fully understood and treatment was almost nonexistent. I loved the way that Smith portrayed the fall from grace her scene in New York took with the emergence of the disease and it’s destruction on Robert’s body. It made me think what Robert’s chances would have been today, with better knowledge about the spread and treatment of the disease. It’s sad that a pioneer like him had to succumb to something so cruel.

Writer’s Takeaway: Smith’s poetic prose was really moving. She was able to describe light and music in a way that I think many prose writers cannot and I think this is easily attributable to her being a poet and lyricist. I also liked the time of her life she chose to focus on and I think she did a good job of describing how she came to be in the position she found herself by the end.

Overall, a decent read, but not for me. Three out of five stars.

This book fulfilled the 1970-1989 time period for the When Are You Reading? Challenge and New York for the Where Are You Reading? Challenge.

Until next time, write on.

Related Posts:
Just Kids | EmilyBooks
Just Kids by Patti Smith | Friends of Atticus