Off Topic Thursday: My Life Under COVID

I didn’t talk about this last month in hopes that when I talked about it this month, I could say that it’s over. It doesn’t look like that’s the case or that this will be ‘over’ and things will be ‘normal’ again anytime soon. So I might as well talk about it now.

I want to start off by saying that I’m very fortunate. I haven’t lost a loved one to the disease. I did not lose my job. I was able to find toilet paper at the store. So as far as major impacts, I’ve been OK. I wanted to detail my situation and hear from all of you how you’re coping.

I haven’t been to my office since I left for Greece on February 26th. When I came back, they asked me to stay home for two weeks since I’d traveled to Europe. By the time that was up, everyone was working from home. I’ve set myself up on my kitchen table. It’s not the most comfortable, but I’ve found a way to use blankets to make it work. My husband works from our office room so we don’t disturb each other during meetings or get too distracted from each other. We had an access issue when I first started but that was quickly resolved and I can do 95% of my job from home. I miss meeting candidates when they come in for interviews and it’s harder to track down certain coworkers who aren’t great at answering their phones, but it’s mostly the same. I do miss my coworkers fiercely, though.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading. It helps me relax and escape to a place where we don’t have to be six feet apart from everyone else. When I think, “I’ll just turn on the TV,” I pick up a book instead and tell myself I’m battling my TBR mountain. I’ve taken a sizeable chunk out of it with digital titles and my unread books at home. I’d say this is where I made the most progress during isolation.

I’ve been knitting and cross-stitching a lot, too. Anything to keep my hands busy. If I don’t craft while I watch TV, I tend to eat. That’s not what you want when your movements are restricted. I’ve already made two baby blankets and I’m working on a birth announcement cross stitch for a pending niece/nephew.

Athletics is what has been most notably impacted by this disease. I’ve had five events affected so far and I’m awaiting news on more.

1. 5K/8K combo race. I picked a St. Patrick’s Day race that had me visit a new county in my state. I have a goal of running a race in every county of Michigan’s Lower Penninsula so this was a bit of a disappointment. I’ve deferred my registration to next year so I should still get to do it.
2. Meters-pool swim meet. This was a small let down. In the US, there are not a lot of swim meets in meter pools so this is always a chance to get a National Top 10 time. I was having a great year in distance freestyle so I was trying for an 800M free and 400M free record. Oh well. I got a refund.
3. Swimming Masters State Meet. This was a big disappointment. I’d had a great year and it was my last year in the 25-29 age group. Also, a good friend of mine had a birthday less than a week before me and the meet fell between our birthdays so she would be 30 while I was still 29 so we didn’t compete with each other. We could both win! Unfortunately, we’ll likely never have that chance again so I’ll resign myself to 2nd place. A bunch of friends had rented a house near the pool and I heard there was a joint birthday celebration planned for the three of us with birthdays that week. All canceled. Lucky the house and the meet fees were refunded.
4. 5 Mile Trail run. I love trail running and I was looking forward to a chance to compete in it. I hadn’t trained too hard for this one so I wasn’t heartbroken to hear it had been rescheduled. I’m planning to run the new date.
5. Sprint Triathlon. This is the latest announcement. It was scheduled for late May and they decided to move it to early August. It’s now scheduled for the same week as Age Group National Championships which is a huge issue for me. I know myself and I know I’d push to hard in the sprint tri and not be in the best shape for AGNC. I’m going to wait and see if AGNC is affected, but I think I’m going to take a credit for this one and let my husband use it to sign up for a race.

Probably the biggest impact has been on my mental health. I’ve never been diagnosed with a mental health condition, but I think I have some degree of depression or anxiety and this situation has made it trigger. I’ve had days where I cry all day and I’m terrified to go outside, even for a run or to walk to my car. The grocery store scares me. I’m very irritable and I’ve had many days I don’t work out because I don’t see the point. I hate feeling out of control and that’s exactly what this situation is for everyone. Working out helps so I try to make myself get outside and run even when it’s hard to find motivation. It helps to talk to people I love so I’m setting up Zoom meetings with friends to keep up. I’m trying whatever I can to fight melancholy and it works 95% of the time. But my brain will be so happy when this is over and I can make plans again.

I hope everyone reading this is well. I hope you all have been able to see your way through this quagmire and are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel like I’m finally getting a glimpse of. We’ll get through it, I know. I pray for everyone’s safety and that we can find our ‘new normal’ as satisfying as the last one.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

WWW Wednesday, 29-April-2020

Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived here on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three questions below and leave a link to your post in the comments for others to look at. No blog? No problem! Just leave a comment with your responses. Please, take some time to visit the other participants and see what others are reading. So, let’s get to it!

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Note: For users of Blogspot blogs, I’m unable to comment on your posts as a WordPress blogger unless you’ve enabled Name/URL comments. This is a known WordPress/Blogspot issue. Please consider enabling this to participate more fully in the community. 

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Currently reading: Forward progress! I’m reading White Oleander by Janet Fitch in print now. I have a copy on my shelves so when I was ready for a new book, I grabbed this. Much easier than trying to renew an ebook every three weeks.
I moved The Girl Who Takes an Eye for an Eye by David Lagercrantz only my phone and I’m speeding through it. I suspect I’ll be done with it next week!
I finished the fourth section of The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern and I’m ready for my next Reading Buddy meeting. I hope it’s this week because I can’t wait to finish this one and write up a full review. Then we’ll have to pick another book. Oh boy, haha.
I’m glad to say I’m still moving forward with The Lola Quartet by Emily St. John Mandel. I’m enjoying the story which encourages me to pull it out and squeeze in a few pages when I can. I’m not sure how far into the book I am (trouble with my reading app) but I’d have to guess getting toward the middle. I’m excited to keep moving forward with this one.

Recently finished: I finished up Moby-Duck by Donovan Hohn after posting last week. I really enjoyed this one! I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it or how I’d get through some non-fiction when escapism was really what I needed but it was enjoyable and a quick read. I posted my review on Monday and gave it a full Five out of Five Stars.
I was able to finish up The Alice Network by Kate Quinn with my increased listening time due to training. This one was pretty good but with the large number of WWII stories I’ve read in the past few years, it did seem a bit unoriginal. I’d still recommend it as a good story, but I wouldn’t say it stands out more than others. I posted my review yesterday and gave it Four out of Five Stars.

Reading Next: I think I need to start making plans again! For an audiobook, I’m hoping to start on The Bookseller by Cynthia Swanson. This one came recommended by another blogger a while back and I do love some books about books!
For a physical book, I think I’m going to grab Fiction Writer’s Workshop by Josip Novakovich. This was a gift many moons ago from a writer friend. I’m hoping it inspires me to do some writing and editing. I have a terrible NaNo that needs some love and quarantine should be a good time to do it, but I’ve had no motivation to try.

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Leave a comment with your link and comment (if you’re so inclined). Take a look at the other participant links in the comments and look at what others are reading.

Have any opinions on these choices?

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

Book Review: The Alice Network by Kate Quinn (4/5)

This book club selection got pushed back a few times and we finally had it on the agenda. I’m not sure if we’ll meet to talk about it since there hasn’t been much talk of this group moving to a Zoom meeting, but I wanted to read it just in case.

Cover image via Goodreads

The Alice Network by Kate Quinn

Summary from Goodreads:

1947. In the chaotic aftermath of World War II, American college girl Charlie St. Clair is pregnant, unmarried, and on the verge of being thrown out of her very proper family. She’s also nursing a desperate hope that her beloved cousin Rose, who disappeared in Nazi-occupied France during the war, might still be alive. So when Charlie’s parents banish her to Europe to have her “little problem” taken care of, Charlie breaks free and heads to London, determined to find out what happened to the cousin she loves like a sister.
1915. A year into the Great War, Eve Gardiner burns to join the fight against the Germans and unexpectedly gets her chance when she’s recruited to work as a spy. Sent into enemy-occupied France, she’s trained by the mesmerizing Lili, code name Alice, the “queen of spies”, who manages a vast network of secret agents right under the enemy’s nose.
Thirty years later, haunted by the betrayal that ultimately tore apart the Alice Network, Eve spends her days drunk and secluded in her crumbling London house. Until a young American barges in uttering a name Eve hasn’t heard in decades, and launches them both on a mission to find the truth…no matter where it leads.

I had to stop reading this book in the middle to power through another and it was easy to pick it back up where I’d left off. That’s to say that this story is straight forward, nothing hidden or sneaky in the plot. I liked the back-and-forth between the two timelines and I appreciated how Eve telling Charlie about her time as a spy aligned with the chapters from her point of view later on. It kept me engaged in the two stories at once. My biggest issue with this book is how many pregnant women there were! I wrote a post about literary pregnancies that this book triggered. Charlie’s I understood, another made sense (trying to avoid spoilers) but a third seemed almost unnecessary. Three was a lot for one book in my opinion. I feel like Quinn could have found different found other motivations for her characters.

I liked the main three characters. Finn was hard not to like, same with Eve. They were crude but well-intentioned and good to the bone. Charlie took a while to grow on me. She seemed too submissive at first and it bothered me. It wasn’t until we had the full story of how she dealt with her brother’s death and she made decisions about her future that I got on board with her. And Rene! Oh my, Rene. What an amazing villain. I might have liked him the best/worst of all.

Rene wasn’t your typical war novel villain. He wasn’t a pillaging soldier or military officer. He was a profiteering man who was more inclined to save himself than to stand up for anything else. He was so despicable that you knew you were going to hate him from the moment he was introduced. Eve’s descriptions of him and his penchant for the finer things in life was amazingly terrifying. He was one of the better-drawn villains I’ve encountered lately.

Charlie’s desire to escape from under her parents’ wing was very relatable and I think most women feel that at some point. It may not be 1947 anymore, but being a woman hasn’t changed much. Charlie’s story was sad but I don’t think it’s unusual. I just think it’s hidden better in today’s society. She wanted to rebel yet she was almost swayed to give up her ideas and succumb to her parents again. It was great to see her make a decision for herself in the end.

Kate Quinn
Author image via Goodreads

Eve and Rene’s time during WWI was my favorite to read. It was so twisted and intriguing and you knew it was somehow going to end terribly but you just had to keep reading. Rene made my skin crawl and Eve mentions so many times how she feels the same way. I can’t imagine what it was like to have to spend so much time with him.

Charlie was whiney at the beginning and it was frustrating. She seemed misguided, thinking that her cousin was still alive and being so reckless to get answers. Honestly, she seemed like a spoiled rich girl no matter the problem she had. Mommy and Daddy were going to take care of it like they’d taken care of every other aspect of her life. As the story developed, she became more sympathetic and I started to like her more and more.

Saskia Maarleveld narrated the audiobook and I think she did an amazing job. I didn’t notice at first that Charlie’s chapters had an American accent and Eve’s had a British accent. It took me a while to realize because the transition between the two was so smooth. Her voice for Finn was perfect. I can’t speak to her French or German but she had this non-speaker convinced she knew what she was saying!

Revenge was a big theme in this book and I’m not sure that I liked that aspect of it. Eve wanted her revenge and dragged Charlie into the plot. I think some of the minor themes fit the story better: female friendship and taking control of one’s own future. Unfortunately, the end of the book was very focused on revenge so you’re left with that taste in your mouth. Is it worth it? I’d say no but I think Eve would argue with me. I’m not sure about Charlie. We never see if she feels better after exacting her revenge.

Writer’s Takeaway: Unfortunately, I didn’t feel this book was well balanced. I felt Eve’s story was much more compelling and interesting than Charlie’s. I’m not sure I’d argue that it would have been a better book on its own because the conclusion was satisfying and Charlie was needed for that to happen. But I wonder if Charlie could have been a more compelling character. Especially at the beginning when I disliked her so much.

A good read with just a little lacking. Four out of Five Stars.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

Related Posts:
Throwback Thursday Book Review: The Alice Network by Kate Quinn | Mrs. B’s Book Reviews
The Alice Network, by Kate Quinn | Reading on the Run

Book Review: Moby-Duck by Donovan Hohn (5/5)

The story of how I got this book makes me laugh. A friend and I were going to the Ann Arbor Book Festival Book Crawl and decided to meet up for dinner before. She’s a librarian who was planning a community reading and volunteer experience. She was going to use the book Moby-Duck to rally the community around plastic pollution, climate change, and globalization concerns. She told me about the programs she had planned as we enjoyed our Mexican food. We got to the second stop on the Book Crawl and were shocked when Donovan Hohn was one of the speakers! We got to hear him talk about his experiences in the book and my friend told him about her programming. I’ve had it on my shelves for five years. I have a personal rule of not taking signed books out of my house and quarantine seems like the perfect time to keep my books at home and read them.

Cover Image via Goodreads

Moby-Duck: The True Story of 28,800 Bath Toys Lost at Sea and the Beachcombers, Oceanographers, Environmentalists, and Fools, Including the Author, Who Went in Search of Them by Donovan Hohn

Summary from Goodreads:

When the writer Donovan Hohn heard of the mysterious loss of thousands of bath toys at sea, he figured he would interview a few oceanographers, talk to a few beachcombers, and read up on Arctic science and geography. But questions can be like ocean currents: wade in too far, and they carry you away. Hohn’s accidental odyssey pulls him into the secretive world of shipping conglomerates, the daring work of Arctic researchers, the lunatic risks of maverick sailors, and the shadowy world of Chinese toy factories.

Moby-Duck is a journey into the heart of the sea and an adventure through science, myth, the global economy, and some of the worst weather imaginable. With each new discovery, Hohn learns of another loose thread, and with each successive chase, he comes closer to understanding where his castaway quarry comes from and where it goes. In the grand tradition of Tony Horwitz and David Quammen, Moby-Duck is a compulsively readable narrative of whimsy and curiosity.

I haven’t read a non-fiction book I enjoyed this much on a long time. Hohn’s tone is comical and the way he captures people and their mannerisms was wonderful. I loved picturing the avid beachcombers and blind oceanographer he met. He’s also very gifted at describing the science behind his writing in a way that was easy to understand. There was a map in the front of the book that I found most helpful. This is a topic I’m interested in, too, so I was all for this book and this topic.

Many times, non-fiction doesn’t focus on people and characterization much, but Hohn did a great job of it. I could picture Ebbesmeyer walking along the Alaskan coast and the mopy teenager on vacation with his parents. I’m honestly surprised Hohn hasn’t published any fiction. He has a new book coming out in June, The Inner Coast, which is also non-fiction and covers many similar topics.

Chris Pallister may have been the most interesting person in the book. He was very driven to get the coast cleaned up and saw it as a quest he needed to complete no matter the barriers. The mix with his personal life that Hohn provided was really interesting because we can see the reasons behind his drive to clean up Gore Point and I loved how by combining a personal history with a professional goal, Hohn drew a very real and full person.

I’ve tried to minimize my plastic impact on the planet so I related well to the several sections on garbage in the oceans. The beachcombers seemed to see it as treasure while those studying the convergence zones saw it as a major issue to be solved. I thought it was interesting when Hohn encountered the Waterkeeper Alliance who showed him how ineffective beach cleanups are when we look at the larger issues facing our oceans. That was eye-opening for me as well.

Donovan Hohn reading from Moby-Duck at Seva in Ann Arbor, MI.

There wasn’t a point of this book that I enjoyed most and not a part that I didn’t enjoy. I sped through it with equal rapture and attention. Separating the book into different ‘chases’ that Hohn made kept the pace up for me and I liked seeing the different places he would go to chase down answers to a single question. It reminded me a bit of The Travels of a T-Shirt by Pietra Rivoli in that sense but I enjoyed the writing in this one much more.

Our oceans are so big that small damages to them don’t seem like a big deal. Throwing one plastic wrapper over the side of a boat isn’t going to end the world. But every person thinking that and companies taking advantage of the sea end up making a large impact. If it was just one crate of bath toys, it would be fine. It’s when oil tankers and cell phone crates and garbage add to the damage that it starts to become lasting damage that we can’t overlook. Hohn makes great points about how we’ve affected our oceans and how there’s no single solution. The oceans are so deep and vast that we still don’t understand them or how we’ve damaged them. It will take years of research for us to know.

Writer’s Takeaway: Hohn’s ability to take a non-fiction topic and make me as engrossed as I normally am in a YA Fantasy novel was amazing. The way he described the people he met was a huge contributing factor. He described personality ticks, facial expressions, and life events that brought the people off the page and made them as real as my neighbors. It helped make the story seem more grounded and helped me connect with it more deeply.

I adored this book and I really recommend it. I’m sad it took me so long to read. Five out of Five Stars.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

Related Posts:
Moby-Duck, by Donovan Hohn | Blogging for a Good Book
Book Review; Moby Duck by Donovan Hohn | the alfmeister
Rubber Duck Book Review: Moby-Duck by Donovan Hohn | Good Morning Gloucester
Moby-Duck | Ron’s View

Literary Pregnancy

Maybe this is nothing. Or maybe I’m on to something. I’m not sure. Either way, I’d love if you could chime in and let me know if I’m going crazy.

I noticed this a while ago and brought it up to my husband who shrugged, brushed it off, and let me move on. But I brought it up to him again on Monday and he told me I might as well blog about it. So I decided to try listening to him for once.

Does anyone else feel like far too many fictional females get pregnant?

I’m usually not bothered by it, but I’m in the middle of reading The Alice Network by Kate Quinn which includes three pregnancies. I’m also reading The Lola Quartet by Emily St. John Mandel which involves a pregnancy. I feel like I’m surrounded by literary fetuses and I think I’m overwhelmed.

I think there are a few reasons for this. Becoming a mother is a major life change and gives a lot of character development. Also, sex makes for good plotting and pregnancy can be a result of sex so books move in that direction. Pregnancy also builds tension because of unknown due dates or unknown fathers or pending abortions. This can lead to emotional turmoil, also good for tension. These are mostly dramatic results, there’s also happiness and joy but those don’t seem to be turning up in the books I’m reading.

I noticed this first when I was reading Armada by Ernest Cline. Two of the characters are intimate once and the woman gets pregnant. It seemed a bit too convenient for me. I get that it happens and it only takes one time, but I think it happens disproportionately in literature.

And that’s where my frustration lies. Pregnancy in books seems to defy the odds of nature. The amount of failed birth control and virginity-losing pregnancies in books seems to be a good bet in Vegas. It just doesn’t seem possible. I was so convinced Eilis in Colm Tóibín’s Brooklyn was going to find herself pregnant that I was shocked when she didn’t.

Maybe I’m rambling. Maybe I’m off base. Maybe I’m spot on. What do you all think? Is the fertility of fictional woman off the charts? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

WWW Wednesday, 22-April-2020

Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived here on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three questions below and leave a link to your post in the comments for others to look at. No blog? No problem! Just leave a comment with your responses. Please, take some time to visit the other participants and see what others are reading. So, let’s get to it!

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Note: For users of Blogspot blogs, I’m unable to comment on your posts as a WordPress blogger unless you’ve enabled Name/URL comments. This is a known WordPress/Blogspot issue. Please consider enabling this to participate more fully in the community. 

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Currently reading: My plan for White Oleander by Janet Fitch is to pick up my physical copy of it once I finish with Moby Duck. I think I’ll get through it faster this way instead of waiting for holds and losing them so often.
I got through very little of The Girl Who Takes an Eye for an Eye by David Lagercrantz but I have a plan for this as well. Once I finish The Alice Network, I’ll put it on my phone and listen to it that way. I’m not going to be in the car much so I might as well find another way to listen to it.
I’m ready for the third meeting with my Reading Buddy on The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. This one has been a great escapist read for me and I keep flying through the sections as soon as I start them. I hope we meet soon.
I’m back to focusing on The Alice Network by Kate Quinn full time as my audiobook. I began my triathlon training plan this week so I suspect I’ll start getting through audiobooks a lot faster as I spend more time running and biking. I expect this one to be finished by next week.
I’ve found ways to keep myself moving through The Lola Quartet by Emily St. John Mandel as an ebook. I’ll play a game on my phone and switch between the two so I draw out both. It’s been a good way to kill a lot of time and still move forward with my ebook.
I’m really enjoying Moby-Duck by Donovan Hohn. I didn’t think I’d get so into a non-fiction read just now but this topic is really interesting to me and I’m able to sit and read it for some long periods. It’s quite good.

Recently finished: I finished up A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold as fast as I could so another member of my book club could grab a copy. I wonder how much though our organizer put into picking the timing for this book. The anniversary of the Columbine shooting was this past Monday and I posted my review on the day as well. I initially gave the book Three out of Five Stars but changed my rating to Four after I reflected on it more.

Reading Next: Yet again, no plans for something else. I’m doing double duty on all my books already, it seems overwhelming to think of what’s next. Maybe in a week, I’ll have a better perspective.

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Leave a comment with your link and comment (if you’re so inclined). Take a look at the other participant links in the comments and look at what others are reading.

Have any opinions on these choices?

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

How to Read Four Books At a Time

Every week during WWW Wednesday, someone will comment on how many books I read at once. Usually, it’s surprise that I’m in the middle of so many or that I’m moving forward with them all. This is something I’ve learned to do because I like reading this way. I realize it’s not for everyone or even for most people but it works for me. Here’s a brief overview of a typical workday (before COVID 19 and since COVID 19).

Pre-COVID 19

• I wake up early to workout. This often involves a run. During a run, I’ll listen to the audiobook on my phone (Book 1).
• After showing, I’ll drive to work. If I’m listening to an audiobook on CD, I get some of that while driving to work (Book 2).
• During lunch, I’ll try to read some from my ebook (Book 3) on my phone and let people think I’m checking Instagram. Sometimes I do both.
• After work, I get some more time in with my CD audiobook (Book 2).
• While cooking dinner, I listen to my phone audiobook (Book 1).
• Before bed, I read some of my physical book (Book 4).

With COVID 19

• I wake up and workout, usually bodyweight exercises, and listen to the audiobook on my phone (Book 1).
• I take a short break before starting my day to read and have my tea (Book 2).
• If I’m having trouble focusing during the day, I read a page in my ebook (Book 3). It takes only a minute and it helps me refocus on the task at hand without getting up to explore the kitchen.
• After work, I relax with a few more pages of my book (Book 2). I’ve turned my commute into reading.
• While I cook dinner, I’ll listen to my phone audiobook (Book 3) or we’ll go pick up carry out to support our local restaurants and restaurant workers which allows me to listen to the audiobook in my car (Book 4).

So of course, some things have had to change. I’m getting through physical books faster and CD audiobooks much slower. I’m adjusting to that. I’ll avoid CD audiobooks and enjoy the time to make headway on my TBR shelf. We’ll all get through this and cope as best we can. To everyone else coping by reading, I salute you.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

Book Review: A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (4/5)

Today is the 21st anniversary of the Columbine shootings. I didn’t plan to post this on the anniversary but when I realized it would be close, I thought it fitting to use this day to remember the lives lost. I was in elementary school when Columbine happened. Growing up, we all knew about it and the Michael Moore documentary that followed. Moore has close ties to Michigan and the KMart World Headquarters he protests is located a stone’s throw from my in-law’s house. I remember reading the Cassie Bernall book She Said Yes when I was in high school. I finished public school just in time to avoid active shooter drills and I didn’t realize how pervasive they were until my husband started teaching. Columbine shook the nation and changed school campuses forever. I never reflected on how the lives of the shooters’ families changed, I was so fixated on the victims. Klebold is a good voice for the families.

A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold

Summary from Goodreads:

On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill twelve students and a teacher and wound twenty-four others before taking their own lives.

For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylan’s mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently?

These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In A Mother’s Reckoning, she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible. In the hope that the insights and understanding she has gained may help other families recognize when a child is in distress, she tells her story in full, drawing upon her personal journals, the videos and writings that Dylan left behind, and on countless interviews with mental health experts.

Filled with hard-won wisdom and compassion, A Mother’s Reckoning is a powerful and haunting book that sheds light on one of the most pressing issues of our time. And with fresh wounds from the recent Newtown and Charleston shootings, never has the need for understanding been more urgent.

I had really mixed emotions during this book. The overwhelming one was sadness. Dylan did a terrible thing and changed many lives forever. While the nation fumed and blamed his actions, his mother was conflicted. Was she at fault? When a dog misbehaves, we blame the owner. But what about a teenager? Can Sue be blamed for what Dylan did? Could she have stopped it? These questions were hard for her to answer and I’m not sure I came to a conclusive answer myself. She admits there were things she could have done to stop it, but Dylan hid his depression so well that most parents would not have noticed. I remembered my own high school depression and I wonder how well I hid it from my parents. Could they have been expected to know about my brain health problems? How can we be mad at Sue for not noticing Dylan’s?

Like most memoirs, I wonder how well Sue remembered the details of her story. She kept journals so I’m sure a lot of the actions and dialogue were taken from there, but I still wonder. Her parenting reminds me of my parents and I mean that as a compliment. She seemed to have high expectations and that she was trying to raise her kids without being their friend or a strict disciplinarian. Clearly, this parenting style isn’t one that spits out angry teens every time. But how much of this is true? I can’t say and no one will ever know for sure. I think she may have painted herself a little too favorably and Dylan a little too happy but I do believe her recalling of the events of his childhood. I believe that he hid his anger and depression deep inside him.

I would have liked to hear more about Byron. As Dylan’s older brother, I’d be interested to hear how he felt about growing up in the Klebold house and how he reacted to his brother’s actions. How surprised was he and how did he deal with being so closely tied to such a major tragedy? I also wonder how his last name affected him through the rest of his life and if he had a similar fear to Sue.

Unfortunately, I did relate to some of the characters in this story. Since high school, I’ve struggled with what I suspect is mild Depression, though I’ve never been diagnosed. Some of the facts and statistics Sue shared about depression in adolescents and adults hit a little close to home and shocked me. I never had any inclination to do what Dylan did, I want to make that clear. But some of his emotions were relatable to the memories I have of high school.

Sue Klebold
Image via Slate

I don’t know if I can say any part of the book was my favorite. A lot of this book was hard to read. I did find it interesting when Sue would reveal things about how she learned about Dylan, such as not seeing the Basement Tapes for years. I can’t imagine how she felt. Did she feel betrayed by the police for not showing her? Or was all her anger directed at Dylan? I can’t even begin to sympathize.

I wish Sue had left out the part where she described the shooting itself. I think that’s best left to anyone interested to research it because it seemed out of place in this book. I’m sure Sue struggled over whether to include it or not but I personally feel she made the wrong decision.

Sue narrating her own audiobook was a great choice. With an emotional topic like this, it’s great to hear the emotion from the writer instead of an actor. She had a lot to say and it never felt unprofessional or amateur. I wouldn’t recommend she go into audiobook narration, but she did a great job telling her own story.

Dylan wanted to be loved and his mother loved him deeply. She loved him as a child and she’s memorialized him with her love in death. Of course, she’s angry about how he died but she still loves him and wants to do everything she can to prevent another tragedy. If that’s not love, I’m not sure what is. It’s powerful.

Writer’s Takeaway: I think Sue wrote this book for many reasons. I think it was therapeutic for her. I also think she wanted to prove, in a way, that she wasn’t responsible for Dylan’s actions nor was she innocent. Yes, she could have done some things differently but she wasn’t negligent in her actions. She wants to educate others about what she could have done so that there’s a possibility of another tragedy being stopped. I’m not sure if she completely exonerated herself in my mind but she did a great job of educating me about what to look for in a person who might be considering self-harm.

Overall, a powerful book and one I won’t soon forget. Four out of Five Stars.

This book fulfills the 1980-1999 time period of the When Are You Reading? Challenge.

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

Related Posts:
A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold | The Bandwagon
A Mother’s Reckoning – Review | Late (For) Tea
Book Review | A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold | One More Page…
BONUS BOOK: A Mother’s Reckoning – Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold | The Banned Book Brigade

Book Club Reflection: Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

I already had one book club read and discuss Exit West by Mohsin Hamid so I didn’t reread the book. After the discussion, part of me wishes that I had. It seems that with the pandemic going on, this group got some very different messages and related to the characters differently than I did when reading it about a year ago.

Hamid was born in Pakistan but lived in the US in his childhood before returning to Pakistan and then to the US again for school. He studied under Joyce Carol Oats and Toni Morrison at Princeton and I could see some elements of Morrison’s melodic prose. Hamid’s novel Moth Smoke was turned into a movie that gained a fair amount of popularity. Some of our members enjoyed the writing style more than the plot. In retrospect, there isn’t too much of a plot to the book. One reader described it as a novel of ideas which doesn’t require character development or plot. Saeed and Nadia’s relationship isn’t the focus of the book, but it’s what’s happening during the book. The writing keeps the book moving.

It took some readers a while to realize that the doors were physical and not metaphorical. The helped make the logistics of migration disappear so that the book didn’t focus on how people get from one place to another but rather on the emotional side; why do people move? If we could all travel this quickly between places, would we migrate? We wondered if we would leave our homes and go somewhere with more freedom. I hear Sweden isn’t locked down. In the end, Saeed and Nadia have a happy ending and we don’t think that’s always likely. Our society will have to start accepting migrants more readily for these outcomes to be more common.

Many were struck by the short vignettes peppered through the story. They helped us see a variety of migrant experiences. Saeed and Nadia’s journey is what a lot of us think of when we hear that someone migrated but the people in the vignettes moved for a wider variety of reasons. For some migrants, there isn’t a single driving reason pushing them away and it can be hard to explain why they are going. In the end, some people did start to go home. As the situation at home changed, some went back. But others were settled and comfortable and stayed. One story that stuck out was the woman in California who lived in her house for so long that the world around it changed. There’s a great quote here, “We’re all migrants through time.” As things around us change, we adjust to the new normal. And once you leave a place, it continues to change. You can never return and expect something to be as it was before you left. Like you, it has changed. And when you leave, you damage the relationships left behind. Even if you don’t intend to. Technology makes it possible to keep up with someone, but it’s never the same. And often it ends completely.

Because of the current pandemic, some of the themes in this book spoke to us in different ways. The confinement that the characters felt when they were new was relatable because we can understand that feeling better. We’re also seeing drastic changes to socioeconomic status. People who were middle or upper class are losing jobs and unemployment and underemployment are running rampant. The characters didn’t realize their lives were about to change until they did, much the same way this pandemic has taken the world by storm and changed everything in a matter of weeks. Saeed and Nadia don’t know where they’ll end up or what the world they find will look like. We’re equally blind.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!

WWW Wednesday, 15-April-2020

Welcome to WWW Wednesday! This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived here on Taking on a World of Words. Just answer the three questions below and leave a link to your post in the comments for others to look at. No blog? No problem! Just leave a comment with your responses. Please, take some time to visit the other participants and see what others are reading. So, let’s get to it!

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Note: For users of Blogspot blogs, I’m unable to comment on your posts as a WordPress blogger unless you’ve enabled Name/URL comments. This is a known WordPress/Blogspot issue. Please consider enabling this to participate more fully in the community. 

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Currently reading: Solid hold on White Oleander by Janet Fitch. I’ve lost the hold on the ebook again. I own a physical copy of this book so I think I might visit it in that medium. The platform I’m using to get it as an ebook tends to have long wait times so I’d rather move to another platform where ebooks are more readily available.
I don’t think I’ve been alone in the car for a week so The Girl Who Takes an Eye for an Eye by David Lagercrantz is still where it was before. I’ll try to find some excuses to drive, but I don’t foresee that happening much.
I pushed my reading buddy to have our second meeting on The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern yesterday. I’m flying through this book and dragging her to keep up with me. I think we’ll get through it super fast since we’re both on lockdown right now and reading fantasy is a great way to escape reality.
I started on The Alice Network by Kate Quinn but have put it on hold because a more pressing hold came in. I was enjoying it a lot before I stopped so I hope to get back to it soon and keep moving forward.
That pressing hold was A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold on audio. My whole book club is fighting for a few copies of this one so I wanted to start it as soon as I could and start making my way through so someone else can get this copy before our meeting next month. It’s a hard book to read/listen to but also very interesting and well written. I think we’ll have a great discussion about it.
I switched my ebook to The Lola Quartet by Emily St. John Mandel. This is available on a platform that’s easier to use with my slow ebook-reading habit. I’ve just started and it’s not a long book but it will probably take me a while still.
Just to make this list longer, I started a new physical book as well. My logic is to read through my autographed books since I don’t like those leaving the house and I’m a bit homebound at the moment. I picked up Moby-Duck by Donovan Hohn. I’m interested to see if I can fly through this one or if I need to switch to fiction to keep myself going for a while. Maybe I’ll switch back and forth.

Recently finished: I was able to finish Cuando era puertorriqueña by Esmeralda Santiago Friday morning. It was a great way to start off my Friday! It always feels great to finish my Spanish language read for the year. I was able to write up a review and get that posted on Monday. I gave it Four out of Five Stars.
I also read a short book, Pope Francis Speaks to Our Hearts. It was a collection of quotes from early in his papacy and a nice light thing to get into over Easter weekend. I gave it Three out of Five Stars and posted a review yesterday.

I also reviewed The Girl in Green by Derek B. Miller last week. I’m still not sure if this book fell flat for me or if I had unrealistic expectations because of the author’s other books. Either way, I gave it Three out of Five Stars.

Reading Next: With how long my current reading list is, I’m not looking ahead. It’s too daunting.

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Leave a comment with your link and comment (if you’re so inclined). Take a look at the other participant links in the comments and look at what others are reading.

Have any opinions on these choices?

Until next time, write on.

You can follow me on Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I’m available via email at SamAStevensWriter@gmail.com. And as always, feel free to leave a comment!